No Major Changes

The new attending was not in the ICU today, but I heard he wants to have another 'family conference', I assume to discuss his approach to Torrey's case.

No change in his blood pressure today - his reliance on all three meds was very evident today. As soon as one ran out, his blood pressure started dropping continuously until the nurse 'plugged' in the next dose which then causes it to rise up to a normal rate. I don't think we are any closer to being able to administer the dialysis he so desperately needs.

It didn't appear that he needed quite as much pain medicine today as he did yesterday; I assume the fact that they have stopped feeding him helped in that regard.

He was still fairly weak, but I was able to communicate with him more today than in the past couple of days. He revealed to me that he was sad and basically spelled out 'this sucks' on the paper keyboard. I think 'this sucks' probably understates how he really feels.

I had a great discussion with my therapist today on how to deal with the next week or so, as we get closer to having to make tough decisions on Torrey's behalf. Despite the fact that he has gone w/o dialysis for nearly a week, he seems fairly mentally healthy when he is awake, just still a little cloudy.

We are still praying for a milk thistle miracle (or any miracle), and hope that this new round of doctors continue to think 'outside the box' for treatment that can turn his prognosis around.

In the meantime, our focus now is keeping Torrey comfortable while trying to lift his spirits.

Sara - thank you for the beautiful poem and comments. I'll be in touch shortly.

Goodnight,
Monica